flowersIntheWindow

Thursday, February 16, 2006,5:16 PM

if it aint stress den i cant comprehend desember wots makin me feelin so exasperated and anxious, well preperations are on a smooth pace but equipped with lil or no knowledge at all is priti much puttin me off with exhaustion, theres too much to do and too much to settle , too many committmets dat requires adaptin to, new roles to take on, too many ppl takin an exit on u and dat u cum to realise tat u can be profoundly lonely even with the many ppl around u, writin ave obviously lost its rhythm, i dint do quite well for SAT wich proves to be a huger bummer for me since i screwd up mostly on my essay, surprising if u asked me, pms is takin its toll on me .... bearin every incessant pain n hopin for the day to end to quickly at times u noe wot desember, u just wish tat tings will pass by quickly so dat u dun ave to go thru every excruciating day wondering wen will dis ever end. bt ironically, the moment shall past and we would wanna relive the moment, haiz...live life to the fullest? another non-pragmatic principles wich ive never cum to practice forgetbout it , too much goes on for me and i soon will cum to a point dat i shall breath and wake upon mornin dat i dread and fear will cum and by then the one who ave cum to promise to take it all away , is soon gone not to reimbursed me fr my pain bt to willingly let me be part of it forgetbout it
my usual rantings, i ave to stop doin dis

Thursday, February 09, 2006,10:11 PM

I noe I noe , updating isn’t the thing dat is really my thing dis days, but den yet again who cares, the preparations are grooving in full swing, well at least that’s wot I thot, gee its not gonna be the easy and I for one blardy as hell am aware of that, im gonna screw up my papers, I just noe it, and on top of tat bein the only person from my side whos involve in the preparation, I reckon I will cum to the high tide when I will ave enuf, and tell myself forgetbout it, why bother aite?
However, irony strucks, I still would pursue for the one ting dat is driving me closer every day dat it made me realise tat tings are bound and obviously gonna be soooo different in a matter of months.
Terrified , indeed, nervous, hello! Which space land did u say u were fr? Im talking bout a life time commitment, trust me mate, it aint easy as how sum blardy coupledom thot it would be, this is wot dey say “ the reality shall sink in” perhaps by then u would cum to realise tat is isn’t just bout luv to bring and take u through every step of ur life, it isn’t bout givin up and claiming defeats in the eyes of a challenge, it isn’t about washin ur hands wen u tink u ave enuf, well its not anitin of dat, or is it?
This other road dat im bound to take in future , I be lyin if I tell u I aint scared, but its true im excited and anticipating such a reliving once in a lifetime experience, By God’s will if it is sumtin dat is good and rite for us, den perhaps those tat we wish for mite just cum true, one day, well perhaps.