Sunday, June 12, 2005,12:24 AM
hmmm jz wen the hue of of surge to write cums flowin in... dats wen my sheer stupidty ave to strike and pull the blardy lapotop closer to me resulting in the modem cable to be plucked out..... speakin of wich ... i cldnt be aving a more restrainin feelin dat can be more overwhelmed den todae.... my dear... plz dun be mistaken by presumin dat jz bcoz i choose to pen down my thots dun exactly makes me a bad partner by nt tellin u everyting wich consequently can drain down our communication between each other.... these are all wot u call ...hmmm a medium...for me to be a lil expressive wif werds den usual....well forgetbout it dame
i keep tinkin bout me and me and me...bt as a result in dat does dat make me a self centered biatch who seems to bear no concern for others and so to speak being my one and onli dearie who ave been more den patient and obviously tolerant of my undeniably ... irkin obnoxious and childish manner wich is exceedin the normal percentile of preposterousness....wot was i tinking.....??!!!!! blamin post/pre mentrual syndrome ... ? OH DEAR GOd.... im am one of those self centered , superficial air headed idiots who ave perservered to make the life being of her one and onli luv hell jz bcoz he wishes to pursue an intrest .... hmm lets be exact... to travel for a week makin it more den 160 hours lack in TLC ..... talk bout deprivation.... i reckon a gerl who ave attain more den 100 percent of attention would feel the sudden loss....bt den yet again....den ders the other part of me.... wich quietly murmered ...dat i shld nt claimed everytin at the expense of other jz for myself .... aite? no fair for me to be tellin him to deprive himself of tings he wan to claim and do jz coz i dun get to do it aite?
so wot does dat make me and underacheiver who ave no goals yet still preservin her simple dreams dat on certain daes feel dat dey are beyond reach and yearn for em to cum true and if i realli werk hard for it ... well it jz mite.....
hmmm two parents who live under one roof and contradicts each other in every aspect....one brothers whos gone and almost forgotten(i noe pakcik u find dis totally unacceptable, bt im out if dis denial phase eventually) well who cares.... and three more... cant figure if dey gonna set sail on the same ship dats gone ... or dey realli gonna stay, frens who ave completely evaporated out of her simple studded life , a job which suits more of a paradox symbol of her life and a person she adores with all of her heart(wich seems to be one of the few good tings dat happen to her)
i miss him though... well i already am.....